Tuesday, March 24, 2015


There is a season, turn, turn, turn...

Tonight I wept.  

I wept for a million reasons known, and a million unknown.

As Jacob and I enjoyed this beautiful weather today, we pretended to be pirates. 
Make believe with my child!!  The child I had wanted for so long...

It's such a humbling experience seeing the world through the eyes of a child.

I've been reading a book entitled "Boys Should Be Boys".  It explains how we should allow boys to just BE BOYS.  I really think there is no explaining what this means. You get the idea....scrapes on knees, broken bones, just pure dirty "boy-ness".  The kind of "boy-ness" that makes a boy become a man you can be proud you raised.

So, in my inspiration to partake in the adventures of boyhood, I decided to be Captain Mommy.  Jacob quite appropriately dubbed himself
"Pirate Jacob Robert Tyson."  

And so we spent the afternoon in dirty-kneed pirate-ness.  We played it well.  And I'm pretty sure he loved me all the more for it.
Mommy getting dirty with him and talking like a pirate??!!?

What little boy could ask for more?
"Argggghhhh, Matey Jacob!!"
"Arggggghhh, Matey Mommy!!"

And then....I got a text from my wonderful mother-in-law.  The woman responsible for raising the wonderful man that is my husband and the father of our son.  Her text was in response to a series of pictures I had posted on Facebook about our Pirate Day...

Oh my goodness!!!  
Those pics remind me of when Jeremy was that age, and we would play in the backyard all the time!

That text stuck with me all day. 

Because, I knew that 30 years down the road, I would remember this special pirate day.

And I thought to myself, "I hope Jacob remembers this pirate day."

Later this evening I told Jeremy how I just don't want Jacob to grow up.  I mean, I had spent all this time praying and hoping for this special baby.  And this "baby" was growing right before my very eyes. He would one day grow up, go to college, marry another woman.  I wept at the thought that he could love another woman more than his mommy.

Yes, I know it is the way God intends it: for a man to leave his family and cleave to his wife.

But, a momma CAN CRY about it!  (Thankyouverymuch)
**I PROMISE, FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, I'm normal and all boy mommas have cried about it!**

I wept on my husband's shoulders.
He laughed at first, possibly thinking this must be crazy, emotional woman talk.
 But as I continued to weep on his chest he just quietly held me.

I wept for a million reasons...

My baby is growing up.  MY BABY.  I never thought I'd ever utter the words "my baby."
Then I thought of my infertility struggle.  The endless emotions and pain.
And NOW our desire to have another baby puts us at risk for all the scary emotions that go along with it.

Then I thought of my friends who would give anything for a baby.
It's not fair.  Life just isn't fair sometimes. 
There.  I said it. 

Why is it that a couple that would make the BEST parents in the world can't have a child of their own?  These are thoughts I also had when I was struggling to get pregnant.

WHY can't we have the answers?
Then, I kept hearing the Lord's voice in my spirit whispering.....


Our pain is for a season.
Every part of life we experience: a SEASON.
This child for whom I longed to have will only be under my guidance and protection for: a SEASON.  
Jesus' life on Earth to show us the way to the Father: a SEASON.


By pure definition of the word, a verse from Ecclesiastes in the Bible states it perfectly.
There is a time for everything under the heavens...

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A season, my friends.  It's a season.

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